Ryan Crawford, Quit Coach Supervisor, Service Delivery:

As a parent, you dread it. Wasn’t your little angel just learning their ABC’s? Holding up tiny fingers to show you “how many” they are? Suddenly they’re reading the Surgeon General’s warning on a pack of cigarettes, and lighting up anyway.

And you just caught them.

Does this mean your child is a hopeless addict? No. Your child is not destined to be on YouTube like the toddler in Indonesia who was trained to smoke 2 packs a day by his own parents. But you know it’s your responsibility to intervene. 

You wrack your brain for a suitable punishment. Depending on your child’s age, you might think a “time out” would be suitable. Rinse their mouth out with soap? Ground them? You might remember how your parents punished you, and consider making them smoke an entire pack of cigarettes in one sitting to make them nauseous with nicotine and shame.

So how far is too far?

Sewing your kid’s mouth shut.

Netra Bahadur Darjee in India did just that, so enraged by catching his 12-year-old son smoking that he beat the boy and took a needle and thread to his face.

Obviously this is wicked, horrific child abuse, no matter what country you live in. If this option crosses your mind as a viable “that’ll teach him” method, you shouldn’t have kids. But it begs the question, “what will teach your child not to smoke?”

1.) Talk with your children early on, before they consider smoking. Give them context if they’re already at an age when they need more than “I told you so.”

Don’t leave it solely to their school to teach them about tobacco. Educate them about the dangers of smoking, like cancer, heart disease, and emphysema, but focus on things that matter to kids: lower energy and diminished lung capacity for sports, smelly breath, yellow teeth, nasty fingernails, and even premature wrinkles.

Ask them why they started smoking to begin with. Find out which friends of theirs might be influencing this and call some parents.

2.) Punish, or Don’t. Tell your child it’s against the rules for them to smoke. Explain why. But no matter how disappointed or embarrassed or angry you are about them trying cigarettes, do not punish your child based on your emotions. If you decide to punish them for smoking, punish them because this behavior is not acceptable for your young lady or little mister.

Engage your child in the punishment. Ask them what they think would be a suitable consequence. I urge you not to force them to smoke more just to make them sick, as this just puts more carbon monoxide, arsenic, and cyanide in your child’s body. Recognize that experimentation is normal for children, and use what disciplinary actions have been effective for you and your family in the past.

3.) Quit Smoking Yourself. Duh. No one is quicker at catching your pot-calling-the-kettle-black hypocrisy than your offspring. Your child is statistically far less likely to smoke if they come from a non-smoking household or if they see their parents quit. This is especially the case if they’re sneaking their cigarettes from you.

4.) Seek Support. Find out what resources your child’s school offers. Bring siblings into the conversation (as role models or someone to be a role model for). Find out if other family members (aunts, uncles, grandparents) are encouraging your child to smoke, and assert with them that this is unacceptable.

Lastly, look for community resources like the Quit For Life Program that may be able to offer youth services. Professionals are out there to help you!